Bane of My Existence
by Artemis the Rebel
Summary: Cad Bane needs no intro. Even the galaxy's most infamous bounty hunter, however, can find himself landed in jail, as he's the Republic's most wanted criminal. That's no big deal for him; he's already expecting the perfect moment to escape. But what he never expected was that the Republic would let him go- in exchange for a favor with a horrible catch that may cause him to decline.
1. Chapter 1

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

BANE OF MY EXISTENCE

A Cad Bane adventure

 **A JEDI GONE MISSING!**

 **YOUNG JEDI MASTER IONA DYSE HAS MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED. CLUELESS AS TO HER WHEREABOUTS, THE JEDI COUNCIL HAS COME TO A DECISION: THEY NEED A BOUNTY HUNTER TO FIND HER BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.**

 **HERE WE FIND CAD BANE, THE MOST DANGEROUS BOUNTY HUNTER IN THE GALAXY AND CURRENT PRISONER OF THE REPUBLIC, SITTING ALONE IN HIS CELL, UNAWARE OF THE EVENTS ABOUT TO UNFOLD…**

1

CAD BANE sat in his bunk, leaning back and staring blankly at the wall. The bounty hunter was lost in thought, considering his previous escapes from the Republic prison. It was all he could really do, seeing as he was in an exceedingly small jail cell.

In actuality, Cad Bane actually had only _half_ of a jail cell. Even the whole ones were pretty small, but half of one was exceedingly puny. The cell was divided down the middle by a ray shield, exactly like the one that kept him trapped in that miserable place. If Bane had stepped out of his bed, then he would have been able to see his former cellmate – a grotesque creature like an enormous orange slug, oozing a revolting amount of slime all over the place. But Cad Bane preferred to stare at the blank white of his bunk's wall instead, for obvious reasons.

In a way, he _had_ gotten what he'd wanted when the clone troopers had divided the room in half. The slug creature had a mouth, and he never shut it. Cad Bane couldn't _stand_ even the sound of his voice. Even worse, the disgusting being was a complete imbecile. He really had tried to tolerate the creature, for the sake of keeping out of trouble with the guards outside his cell. But the slug just could not take a hint and after five hours of him blathering on to Cad Bane about absolute nonsense with that infuriating, ridiculous voice, well… that was all Cad Bane had been able to take.

And now he had half a cell, all to himself, filled with just sweet, sweet silence, where he could plot his eventual breakout in peace.

"Bane!"

Cad Bane slowly lifted his head to stare with his large, crimson eyes and found that the ray shield at the entrance to the cell had been deactivated. In its place stood three clone troopers, completely unarmed. Cad Bane's gaze drifted to see that there were five _more_ soldiers that _were_ armed waiting outside.

He sighed in bitter disappointment. They were learning.

"Get up. You're coming with us."

Cad Bane slowly sat up, eyeing them warily. "Coming where?" he drawled, stretching his arms over his head briefly. To his satisfaction, every single clone trooper flinched.

One of the clones stepped forward, not answering his question but reinforcing the troopers' command. "Now."

Cad Bane sighed faintly and stood up. Immediately, two clones leapt forward and seized his arms while a third clamed handcuffs over his wrists. Cad Bane merely arched a would-be brow, used to their silly roughhousing.

One of the clones shoved him forward. "Come on," he barked. "Let's move."

"All right, all right," muttered Cad Bane, walking slowly out of the cell with the clones surrounding him closely. The Duros glanced back to see his former cellmate hurriedly swinging his arms back and forth as he struggled to leave the cell before the ray shield was reactivated. Bane smirked faintly, because in the two minutes that the shield had been down, the slug had scarcely moved a centimeter.

Cad Bane's cold amusement was short-lived. Suddenly, a cloth bag was forced down over his head.

"Hey!" he yelled, lashing out, but the clone troopers seized his arms. "Wha's the big idea?! Let me outta here!"

"We can't have you seeing where you're going," a clone trooper hissed by the side of his head. "So just cooperate, and I won't have to stun you."

"Gah," Cad Bane snarled, but he stopped fighting them. One of them kept a tight grip on his arm as they dragged him down the hall. Cad Bane stumbled over a rise in the floor and scowled all the while – but under all his anger he couldn't help but feel an unnerved flash of concern. _Where, exactly, am I being taken?_

He suspected it might have been to his own execution.

 **Hey, guys! Artemis the Rebel here with a brand new story - this time, a classic Clone Wars fanfic (and of** ** _course_** **it's about Cad Bane!)! I hope you enjoy. I'm sorry I don't have an update for Chasing Your Shadow for you yet - I'm afraid I'm at a horrible road block (no writers allowed to pass). I would be really grateful if you guys had any ideas that might help! Also let me know what you guys are hoping for in this new tale. ;-)**

 **Just a spoiler warning, you guys, this story takes place** ** _after_** **the Clone Wars TV series is over, and really calls back on events from episodes Deception to Crisis on Naboo (the greatest of the Cad Bane story arcs, I must say), as well as, of course, other episodes revolving around Cad Bane.**

 **I hope you enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

2

IF THEY were going to execute him, then they sure were going to make a big show of it. Because while Cad Bane couldn't see, he still knew that they walked a long time. They went inside lifts. At one point, he was even taken outside into open air, shoved into what he presumed was some kind of speeder, and then flown somewhere. Cad Bane could feel the brisk Coruscant air as they zipped away; the bounty hunter counted the minutes and estimated it was roughly a fifteen minute flight.

Cad Bane started to suspect where they were going.

Eventually, the speeder slowed down and Cad Bane could feel it descend. He heard the engines turn off, and then abruptly his arms were getting tugged off by the overaggressive clone troopers.

"Hey, hey, cut it out, take it easy!" Cad Bane yelled, struggling against them, but their grip was too firm. An arm looped tightly around either of his and he was marched forward, barely able to take a step on his own.

"I can walk, y'know!" Cad Bane growled, of course to no response.

Bane heard massive doors muffledly slide open over the quick-paced footsteps of the clone troopers (he assumed it was still clone troopers; those things were everywhere – it was an infestation) on either side of him. Soon, Cad Bane also heard the murmurings and footfalls of other beings, and inferred from the slight echo that the building he'd been taken into was very large.

He was yanked into another lift, and up they went on a rather long three-minute ride. Not only was it cramped with the two or more clone troopers in there with him, but the elevator music was gradually aggravating.

So Cad Bane was particularly glad when the ride was over and the clone troopers went back to pulling him around. They roughly shoved him out first, causing him to stumble (these guys were such gentlemen), and then in an instant they seized his arms and yanked him back to his feet before he could get up himself.

Cad Bane growled as they dragged him onwards again. He sure was getting sick of this overly physical trip.

Another set of large doors opened and suddenly Cad Bane sensed he had been brought into a large room full of many people. He let out a snarl of shock and pain as he was hit in the back of his knees by what was probably a blaster, sending him falling hard into a kneel.

"Master Jedi," one of the clones said in a low voice. "Bounty hunter Cad Bane."

Abruptly, the bag was jerked off of his head. Cad Bane looked up and his heart sank.

He was now in a room filled with the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy.


	3. Chapter 3

3

THE CHAMBER was high-roofed and circular, with many huge windows Cad Bane doubted he'd be able to get to without a Jedi stopping him first. The room was also ringed with seats – some of them occupied by holograms, but a few of them resident to actual Jedi Masters. He could identify them all: Master Yoda, Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi…

Cad Bane's eyes widened.

 _"KENOBI!"_ he snarled in rage, jerking forward. Immediately, a clone seized him in a headlock with his blaster stretched out in front of his neck, but still Cad Bane thrashed, blinded by sheer wrath. _"You'll pay for what you pulled on me!"_

Obi-Wan regarded Bane with his crystal blue eyes, slowly stroking his chin with one hand. His eyebrows were arched. "On the contrary, Bane, I think you'll thank me. Nice to see you again, by the way."

Cad Bane let out a choked noise that was somewhere between a scoff and a harsh laugh. _"Thank_ you?! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Take it easy, Bane," Obi-Wan said calmly, one hand raised. The slight smirk of amusement that tugged at the corner of the Jedi's lips infuriated Cad Bane even more. "We only wish to talk, and I think you might like what we have to say."

Cad Bane growled faintly, trying to settle down, his crimson eyes narrowed. His insides burned for revenge against Obi-Wan Kenobi – it was his fault Bane had been in jail, but more than that, Obi-Wan, disguised as another bounty hunter, had tricked Cad Bane into giving him his trust. Bane had even saved his life out of sheer respect for the other man – that is, a man that had been nothing but a guise. There was nothing Cad Bane hated more than blatant dishonor, and if anyone had ever showed that in his presence, Obi-Wan had. And after that betrayal, there was no one Bane despised greater than Kenobi.

At the same time, however, it wasn't every day a prisoner of the Republic was called to have a conference of some sort with the Jedi Council. Cad Bane figured whatever they had to say to him was worth hearing.

"So say it then," he spat, glowering at Obi-Wan. "I have no desire to waste any more time even _looking_ at the likes of you longer than I got to."

For some reason, that made Obi-Wan hide a smile behind his closed hand. It looked like he was trying hard not to laugh.

Before Cad Bane could explode again, Mace Windu spoke up, resting his chin on one fist as he studied Bane with careful dark eyes. "We have a… _proposition_ for you."

Cad Bane eyed him back silently, waiting to hear more. He was already interested.

"A grave problem, we are facing," remarked Master Yoda solemnly. "Gone missing, one of our own has."

 _Missing? A Jedi?_ Cad Bane thought, his eyes widening as he realized what was happening, what they were doing. They were offering him… a _job._

"Go on," he said quietly, staring back at them with intrigue.

"A rather new Jedi Master, Iona Dyse," Mace continued with a frown. "She went missing over a month ago. We've sent search parties out already, but so far, nobody's managed to find any sign of her."

Obi-Wan spoke again, his fingers now steepled in front of his face. "And we figured, Bane, that there is no one more skillful at finding people than you."

"Flattery ain't gonna get you nowhere, Kenobi," Bane snarled at him, then turned his narrowed eyes back on Mace Windu. "So what you're sayin' is, you want me to find this Jedi girl for you?" Cad Bane scoffed. "After you've thrown me in prison? I know you Jedi are smarter than that." He lifted a would-be brow. "What's in it for me?"

Mace Windu's brow was raised as well as he continued to regard Cad Bane carefully. "Your freedom."

The two words fell like a mallet across the surface of a bell. Cad Bane stared at the Jedi in silence, brooding over that statement. That was certainly a worthy payment – and Cad Bane intended to collect.

However, it was obvious they wouldn't just let him go running off. They knew as well as Bane did that he would just go on his way with no interest in tracking down their lost Jedi friend.

"Okay," Bane said slowly. "Wha's the catch?"

"The _catch_ is that you are going to have to be chaperoned by one of us." Cad Bane grimaced in displeasure. "Namely…" Mace hesitated, and then Bane saw the Jedi's eyes slide over to glance towards the right-hand side of the room…

 _"OH NO!"_ Cad Bane shouted. "NO WAY! FORGET IT! I WOULD RATHER _ROT_ IN THAT CELL THAN GO _ANYWHERE_ WITH OBI-WAN KENOBI!"

"Ouch," Kenobi remarked. He seemed more amused than anything about all of this, which Cad Bane resented.

"Well, that's fine," Mace Windu said, folding his arms across his chest. "I guess we have no choice but to put you right back in prison." He raised a brow. "But I'm afraid we will no longer be dividing your cell with a ray shield."

Cad Bane froze. _"What?"_

"If you refuse to help us, we _will_ be deactivating the ray shield in your cell," Mace restated, the ghost of a smile tracing his lips. "And I've heard you're not particularly fond of your cell mate."

As Cad Bane processed this numbly in horror, Obi-Wan glanced over at Mace. "To say the least. I heard after only five hours together, Bane attempted to kill him," he remarked.

Mace looked vaguely amused. "All right, why? I have happened to have to deal with Cad Bane before, and I know that he's far from unstable. Let me guess… he liked his hat?"

Obi-Wan let out a startled snort, then started chuckling. "No, I believe what he told the guards after they got him unstuck was that his cell mate was simply annoying." He looked at Bane not-so-innocently. "What was it you said – you couldn't stand him for even a second longer without going insane?"

Cad Bane was silent, still lost in the sheer horror of having to share a cell with that repulsive nitwit again.

Yoda just listened to the whole conversation with amusement, then gazed at Cad Bane and remarked wryly, "Changed your mind, have you, hmm?"

Cad Bane just stared at them, realizing with a sinking feeling that they had left him with absolutely no choice.


	4. Chapter 4

4

THEY GAVE him his own prison cell in which to spend the night. Bane found it difficult to fall asleep when his mind was haunted by the mission he had been forced into doing. Who knew how long he would have to suffer through Obi-Wan's company?

Cad Bane lay in his bunk and stared at the ceiling, gritting his teeth. All he really wanted to do was exact his revenge on Kenobi for pulling the wool over his eyes – preferably by shooting the Jedi full of holes and then dumping his body in front of Count Dooku for a hefty reward payment.

He seriously considered doing that for real, but there were doubts, possible limitations he didn't yet know. _I doubt they'll let me carry any arms, perhaps not even any of my equipment. And the blasted Jedi will have his lightsaber, not to mention the dratted Force..._ Cad Bane tossed and turned, growling in frustration. He was not liking his odds of getting out of this somehow at all. _All I really have to do is ditch Kenobi and make a break for it. But it's no easy task running away from a Jedi... and odds are, they'll find a way to track me down. I don't need the Jedi Council having any extra grudges with me._ Cad Bane groaned. _But if I work with the Jedi, then the Separatists and the Hutts might find out about it and I'll lose some of my highest-paying employers-!_

As much as he didn't like any of it, Cad Bane knew with all the displeasure in the galaxy that there was nothing he could do about it. At least, when it was all said and done, he would have his freedom back and never have to look at Obi-Wan Kenobi or a revolting slug creature ever again.

 _But how can I even trust the Jedi?_ Cad Bane growled to himself again as this thought crossed his mind. _They know that I'm going to go right back to doing business with the Separatists. What if when I find their lost Jedi, they just throw me right back in jail?!_

 _No, no,_ Bane tried to reassure himself, exhaling a long breath. Y _ou'll find a way to escape if that starts to happen. You have nothin' really to worry about. It's just another job. You're used to doing jobs. Doing jobs is your life._

The edges of Cad Bane's mouth slowly lifted in a silent snarl. _A job with Obi-Wan Kenobi._

Before long, it was morning. Eventually, Cad Bane had managed to fall asleep, but after all his years of bounty hunting, he had become a very light sleeper. As soon as the ray shield came down, Cad Bane cracked open one eye to discover, to his displeasure and complete unsurprise, that his visitor was Obi-Wan Kenobi.

 _"What?"_ Cad Bane snarled, turning his head away. "You here to make a mockery of me again?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "Look, Bane, I'm sorry for that. It's not like it was my idea, and I certainly didn't enjoy it." He paused. "Well, not all of it. Getting under your skin all the time was actually pretty fun."

Cad Bane growled under his breath. "I knew I should've shooted you."

Obi-Wan chuckled lightly, then pressed his fingers together. "The reason I'm here is because we need to begin our investigation immediately. And to start our lovely mission together, I have someone here I'd like you to meet."

"You better hope for your sake it's a doctor," Bane muttered, but he turned over to look, his eyes narrowed. To his astonishment, no one else seemed to be there, albeit a couple of armed clones guarding the entrance.

"Excellent," Cad Bane deadpanned. "They're invisible."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "No, not invisible. She's behind me." Obi-Wan lifted one arm and tried to peer behind him. "It's all right, you know," he said gently. "You can come out. He isn't going to bite."

"I do," Cad Bane warned. "And I will."

Despite this unhelpful statement, as Cad Bane watched, a small figure slowly stepped out from behind Obi-Wan, her tiny alabaster hands clinging on to the Jedi's dark brown robes. Cad Bane's eyes widened in disbelief. It was a _kid._

"You brought one of your little Jedi brats into my cell?!" he demanded, astounded and repulsed as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bunk. "You really are an idiot, Kenobi! I'm the most dangerous bounty hunter in the galaxy!"

"Cad Bane, this is Maela Press, the Padawan of the Jedi who went missing," Obi-Wan said patiently, ignoring the Duros' protest as he looked down and gently eased the child's hands off of his robes and held them in his. "Maela, this is Cad Bane. He's going to help us find your master."

"Unwittingly," muttered Cad Bane.

Slowly, Maela stepped forward again, and raised her head to stare towards Cad Bane. Cad Bane arched a brow as he studied her. Her face was pale, gentle, and, Cad Bane thought, perhaps just slightly cuter than your average anooba – which was saying something when it came to any human mug. The child's hair was wispy, mousy brown, and hung a couple inches above her shoulders, with sideswept bangs messily trimmed to fall just above her eyes. Her eyes – yes, those were the most striking thing about her, and Cad Bane couldn't help but stare at them. They were milky, like fogged glass. A mere hint of turquoise green was the only clue as to what color they would have been.

This little girl, Cad Bane realized, was blind.

"You call this a Padawan?" he asked gruffly, trying not to seem wavered by the child's blindness. He couldn't get it – _How could she ever possibly be a Jedi if she can't see?_ "It looks more like the scruffiest, most underfed Jedi youngling I have ever seen."

Maela's pale face immediately gained a tinge of red. "I am not a youngling!" she exclaimed hotly, her voice a high-pitched little squeak of anger. _"I_ am a Jedi Padawan!"

"I see," said Cad Bane skeptically, eyeing her for a moment more before looking back at Obi-Wan flatly. "This is a joke, isn't it."

Obi-Wan pursed his lips as he placed his hands lightly on Maela's shoulders, regarding Bane with disapproval. "No, Bane. It isn't. And if we're going to be working together, I would like for you to treat Maela with some more respect."

Cad Bane lurched forward slightly with a noise like a choke. _"Working –_ you expect me to _work_ with a little _brat,_ let alone you?!" The bounty hunter glowered at Obi-Wan and swiped his hand through the air. "No deal, Kenobi! I'm not gonna have some pipsqueak biting my ankles while I watch my back from getting stabbed by you!"

"You don't have a choice," Obi-Wan said, his voice still sounding calm, but it was tightening. "And I trust you will find that Maela will be an asset to you. Not only did she know her master the best, she was the last person known to speak with her, and she may know several clues as to where her master may have gone."

Cad Bane scowled, leaning his elbow against the wall as he regarded Maela with narrowed eyes. The child was red-faced, obviously stung by his words, but her lips were pressed tightly together and she was silent. He had to admit that Kenobi had a point. Cad Bane was more than used to solving disappearance mysteries; he knew very well now that Maela could actually turn out to be quite useful after all. But he still wasn't going to be happy about it.

"Fine," he growled, as though he'd had a choice in the matter, and waved a hand. "She can come, but I expect you to keep a harness on her, Kenobi."

"Don't let what he says harm you, my dear," Obi-Wan murmured into Maela's ear. "He just has little experience with children... or politeness, or regular conversation."

Maela nodded slightly, took a breath, and then seemed to become a little less red in the face.

Cad Bane curled the edge of his mouth. "I can hear you, you know."

"Yes, I do," Obi-Wan said wryly. "I hope you will learn from it. Come now, Maela, Bane. We ought to be going."

"Going where?" Cad Bane was surprised to discover that the child's voice was a lot less annoying when she wasn't responding to an insult. It was soft and thoughtful.

"Why, Cad Bane's apartment, of course," Obi-Wan remarked, lifting his eyebrows at Bane. "After all, we can't have him going around in that loud outfit, can we, Bane?"

Cad Bane stared at Obi-Wan in shock. There were no words. In fact, he was so stunned, he didn't even hear Maela giggle.


End file.
